Boss Unyielding: A Secret Baby Office Romance (The Boss Series Book 1) Page 9

  ***

  Farren hurried inside once she got to work, feeling like the stomach upset was behind her for the time being. She passed Rita on the way to her office and gave her a quick wave before disappearing around the corner to the hallway.

  She closed the door behind her, feeling out of breath. Rayner must have heard her come in, because the side door leading to his office clicked open before she could get to her chair, and suddenly she felt hyper-aware of the pink box stuffed in her messenger bag, like it would somehow come alive and tumble out to be discovered by Rayner. Her heart began to race.

  “Farren?”

  Oh, God, she thought. She stuffed her bag into a large drawer inside her desk and pressed it closed.

  “Good morning,” she said with an exaggerated smile as Rayner walked fully into the room.

  His sleeves were rolled up to the middle of his forearms, which she now knew was a sign that he was stressed out about something and was probably worrying over a project.

  “What did I miss?” she asked. Her attention was quickly diverted from her own stressors at the moment so that she could work on getting whatever was troubling him taken care of.

  Once they started hashing out the details, she found herself back in control, at least for the moment, and she was able to stay focused well into the afternoon while she and Rayner worked together to iron out the details needed. Thank goodness, he kept her too busy to think of anything else for a while.

  By the time evening had rolled around, she had become distracted once again, and she knew she needed a quick getaway tonight to avoid Rayner seeing her nerves that she was sure would be out on display by now with the pregnancy test burning a hole through her bag.

  “Sir, I’ve got somewhere I need to be tonight, if you don’t mind me leaving now,” she said, poking her head into his office.

  He looked up and his eyes squinted in thought for a moment.

  “I see. Is it the guy that was here waiting for you last night?” he asked, and he seemed to be squeezing the life out of the ink pen he was holding as the creases of his fingers turned white.

  “What, Paul? N-” she cut herself off before she could finish answering. Of course it wasn’t Paul, but she didn’t want to tell him what it really was that she was in such a hurry to leave for.

  “Yes… I’m supposed to meet up with Paul… and some other friends tonight. Nothing special, just hanging out with some friends.” She was officially rambling now.

  She held her breath waiting for his response, and when he released his hold on the pen he seemed to be strangling the life out of, he nodded.

  “Sure. Have a great time. We can pick this back up tomorrow,” he answered.

  He rose from his chair and stretched his arms over his head, flexing all the muscles in his arms, chest, and back, so that they strained against the thin fabric of his button down shirt.

  She could feel her mouth watering at the sight of him, and she licked her lips reactively, which freaked her out even more, recalling that a heightened libido was another side effect of pregnancy. She was reminded once again why she needed to get out of there, and fast!

  “Okay, um… I’ll see you tomorrow.” She closed the door behind her without waiting for him to respond again, grabbed her messenger bag, and rushed out the door.

  Once she locked herself in her car, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Shea.

  “Hello?” Shea answered.

  “Shea, it’s Farren.”

  “No crap, dummy. Caller I.D.,” she teased. “What’s up?”

  “Are you at home? I need to come over. I’m calling in a Best Friend favor,” Farren said.

  “Wow, this must be serious. Give me twenty minutes. I’ll be right there.”

  “Thanks.” Farren hung up, put her car in reverse, and backed out, chewing her bottom lip the entire drive to Shea’s apartment.

  She got out and climbed the steps to the second floor and waited outside Shea’s apartment door until she got home.

  “Wow. This must be serious,” Shea said as she walked up to find Farren waiting for her, anxiously.

  Farren said nothing, but nodded her affirmation with a serious look on her face.

  Once they got inside, Shea kicked her shoes off, tossed her keys onto a small table next to the door, and sat on her couch with her legs tucked beneath her. She patted the cushion for Farren to sit beside her.

  “Talk to mama. What’s up, Fair Child?”

  Farren sat where Shea had indicated and shifted her messenger bag to sit in her lap. She rifled through it and pulled out the box of First Response pregnancy tests.

  Shea’s eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. “Holy shit, Far, are you serious right now?” she blurted.

  Farren nodded again, feeling as though she might burst into tears.

  “Have you taken one yet?” Shea asked, taking the box out of Farren’s hands to inspect it.

  “No. Today is the first day I suspected I might be… you know. I woke up puking my guts up this morning when I needed to take Gramma to the doctor. Then this nurse made some off-hand comment about how she went through that for seven months solid when she was pregnant with her son, and Gramma asked me on the way back home if I thought I might be.”

  The words tumbled out in a rush as Farren recounted how she had come to the suspicion that led her to buy the pink box Shea now held in her hands.

  “Who’s would it be?” Shea asked her in a low, conspiratorial voice. “Please, God, tell me not Paul.”

  Farren shook her head. “Not Paul. Definitely not.”

  “Then who?” Shea asked, her eyes going wide once again.

  “Um… well… about that,” Farren began, unsure of how Shea was going to react. “Remember my trip to Italy several weeks ago?”

  She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but she watched as Shea’s eyes went even wider and her hands shot up to cover her mouth. Then she clasped both hands on either of Farren’s shoulders. “Wait, did you meet someone while you were there, or are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”

  “It was just one… night,” she said, defeated. She was going to say one time, but that would not have been the truth. It had definitely been more than one time.

  “Wow,” Shea repeated. “Okay. So what are you waiting for? Get in there and take that test. Then I want details of this one night you speak of, and I don’t want you to leave anything out.”

  She shooed Farren towards the bathroom, and Farren obeyed, taking the box with her. She followed the directions, and then went back out to the living room to sit with Shea while she waited the two minutes for the test to work its process.

  This was it, the moment of truth.

  EIGHTEEN

  “Here, you check it. I can’t look,” Farren said, holding the piece of plastic away from her with her head facing the opposite direction.

  Shea grabbed the test out of Farren’s hand, but didn’t look at it yet, either.

  “Okay, I’ll read it. But first, I want some answers,” Shea demanded.

  Farren curled up on the end of the couch, bringing her knees in close to her body and wrapping her arms around them. She buried her face between her arms and knees, and her words came out muffled. “What do you want to know?”

  “You could start with why I’m just now hearing about this when it happened like a month and a half ago. I’m supposed to be your best friend, remember?” She scolded.

  Farren lifted her head to look at Shea.

  “Really? You want to yell at me for that, right now? I didn’t tell you because I didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t tell anyone. Not even you. I wanted to… believe me, I wanted to. I just… couldn’t.”

  Shea set the pregnancy test down on the coffee table in front of her, then moved in close to Farren and put her arms around her, leaning her head on Farren’s shoulder.

  “You can always tell me anything. God, Farren, you know that. We’ve been through everything together. Everything. If you can’t cou
nt on me, then who can you count on?”

  It was a rare occasion that Shea’s snarky, pessimistic attitude came down, but Farren needed it so much right now. Shea was right. If she couldn’t count on her best friend, who could she count on?

  “What was I supposed to do? I could lose my job, Shea. I could lose everything,” Farren said, with a voice of quiet desperation.

  “That’s bullshit. There’s nothing you could do to make you lose me. Or your Gramma. You’ll never lose everything, Farren.”

  Shea was quiet for a moment, looking at the petrified look on Farren’s face. “I get it, Far, I get why you think you have to walk on eggshells for everyone because you think you’ll eventually do something to make them leave, but not everyone is like that. Some connections run deeper than that.”

  Farren looked up at her friend. Surely if someone as cynical as Shea could believe that, there was a small chance it could be true. She blew out a big, cleansing lungful of air and nodded her acknowledgment.

  “He’s just so… everything.”

  Shea’s head jerked back in question. “Everything?”

  “Yes! Everything. God, Shea, he’s sexy, he’s complex, he’s challenging. I’ve never met anyone so hot in my life. One minute, he can be ruthless and intimidating, and the next minute he’s looking into my eyes like I’m the only person he sees. And he’s smooth, but he’s rough around the edges, and he’s freaking scary sometimes, but he makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt, and I’m so afraid that if he ever knew how I really felt about him, he’d fire me on the spot and tell me he never wanted to see me again.”

  Shea listened with her eyes wide. “Damn, you were right. That does sound like everything.”

  They both sat nodding, and then Shea leaned over and picked up the test from the coffee table. She held it up in front of her. “So what is this going to mean?”

  Farren shrugged. “I was hoping I’d know when I got there.”

  Shea gave a cynical laugh. Then she looked down at the test and looked back up at Farren.

  Farren stared on in silence, waiting to hear what news Shea would deliver.

  “You’re pregnant, Far.”

  Farren thought she would be surprised, but she wasn’t. Shea’s words only confirmed what she already knew in her gut to be true. She knew she was pregnant, and now the words had been said out loud. Now it was real.

  “I am so fucked,” she said.

  “Was it at least a good fuck?” Shea asked, using her vulgar question to add some comical relief to the otherwise intense situation.

  Farren chuckled and looked Shea straight in the eyes. “You have no idea.”

  “I knew it! Ha!” Shea whooped.

  Somehow, the laughter was just what they both needed, and giggles turned into fits of laughter that had them rocking on the floor with tears streaming from their eyes.

  When the laughter finally fizzled, Shea stood and held her hand out to help Farren off the floor. They sat on the couch again, and Shea asked, “So when are you going to tell him?”

  “Tell him? I can’t,” Farren said, emphatically.

  “What do you mean, you can’t? Why not?” Shea questioned.

  “There’s no way he can know about this. Oh, God. The minute he finds out, I’ll lose my job. I cannot tell him, Shea.” Her fear shone on her face and she wrung her hands as her whole body began to tremble.

  “There were two people there that night, Far. It wasn’t just you. If he played a part in getting you into this, then he can damn sure step up to the plate and handle his responsibilities now,” Shea argued with adamant intensity.

  Farren shook her head in disagreement, but said nothing. She didn’t have to say anything. Her worry and fear were evident in her eyes and her nervous gestures.

  “How do you know he won’t step up? Who’s to say he won’t be happy about this? I mean, if something has got you this crazy for a guy, how do you know he’s not just as messed up over you?” she suggested.

  Now it was Farren’s turn to give the cynical laugh. “Yeah, right. He’s got all kinds of different women at his disposal. What would he want someone like me tying him down and shackling him to this giant responsibility that he never asked for?” She rolled her eyes like the idea was absurd. “It was one night. One amazing night. It was over before it ever began.”

  Shea leaned in toward Farren and caught her line of vision. When Farren was looking back at her, Shea said, “Far, you have to give him a chance. He’s not your dad.”

  And there it was. The one thing that Shea had always known was the untouchable subject. She had brought out the big guns.

  “You don’t know that he won’t leave,” Farren whispered, and the tears began spilling from her eyes.

  “And you don’t know that he will,” Shea countered in a soft, calm voice, grabbing Farren’s hands and holding them between her own.

  Farren said nothing, but her body jerked with the silent sobs that overtook her. She had no more words. She was raw and vulnerable, and even with her best friend sitting right in front of her, holding her hands, then wrapping her arms around her, she felt alone. She’d always felt alone.

  ***

  At home that night, she lay in bed and held her cell phone in her hand, staring at the screen for what seemed like an eternity. It was late when she hit the send button with Rayner’s number pulled up, and she immediately regretted it.

  She was reaching to hit End when she heard his voice pick up. “Farren?”

  She froze.

  “Farren, are you there?” he repeated.

  His voice sent flutters throughout her stomach. Why did he have to have such a profound effect on her?

  “Yes, I’m here,” she answered.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked, and his voice sounded so soft and caring. Was it her imagination?

  “I… wanted to tell you…” she began.

  “Tell me what?” he urged, and she thought she could hear worry tinge his voice.

  “Tell you that… I, um…” She lost her nerve. She couldn’t tell him. She had to think of something else, fast. “I felt bad about leaving in such a rush earlier. I wanted to see if there was anything I could work on tonight to get us ahead for in the morning.”

  The blood pounding in her ears calmed only slightly with her averted topic. She waited for his response, hoping he didn’t see right through her.

  “You’re too young to become a workaholic like me already,” he teased, but the jab at her age sent a pain coursing through her.

  She laughed nervously. “No, I just… didn’t want to leave you hanging on anything if there was still work to do.”

  “It’s nothing that can’t wait until morning,” he assured her.

  “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

  “Tomorrow,” he agreed.

  She was just about to hang up when his voice stopped her again.

  “Farren?” he said, and his voice was rough and low.

  “Yes?” she asked, thankful for the delay, to hear his voice a while longer.

  “Goodnight,” he finally said.

  Oh, she thought. “Goodnight,” she returned.

  And the line went silent. He was gone.

  She set the phone down on the computer desk next to her bed and turned over, hugging her pillow close to her body.

  Everything was so uncertain, and she was so scared. How was she ever going to tell him? Did she really have to? Would he figure it out? Of course he would figure it out. He was a brilliant, intelligent man, which was one of his many irresistible qualities. There was no way she could keep this a secret forever.

  What was she going to do?

  NINETEEN

  It had been another long day, another session of working well into the evening on the security system project with Rayner for the third week in a row, and by this time of night, Farren should have been exhausted. The little growing ball of cells tucked away into her belly had drained her of energy lately, and she had felt fati
gue for several weeks now like she had never known, but tonight was different.

  Tonight, the hormones had gotten the better of her, and the light, masculine scent of Rogan’s cologne had been doing things to her for hours. Was it the cologne, or the way his hair fell in messy waves over his forehead that begged for her to brush them back into place? She wasn’t sure, but either way, she could feel the thrill rushing through her like a soft, steady hum that gradually grew in intensity as the evening grew later.

  It didn’t help that it seemed he had taken every opportunity to touch her all evening long, and each touch affected her more than the last. A squeeze of her shoulder, a brush of her elbow, she didn’t know how much more she could withstand before she spontaneously combusted with desire.

  A knock came from the locked entrance door, and Rogan left the room to pay the delivery guy for the take-out food they had ordered in. When he came back, he sat the boxes of Chinese stir fries, steamed rice, and egg rolls on an interview table tucked in the corner of his sizable office and invited her to take a break to join him for a bite.

  She wasn’t about to turn him down. Chinese had been one of the few types of foods she could eat without making her want to vomit that had any kind of spicy smell to it, and she couldn’t get enough of it, but she made no apologies for grabbing a slice of chocolate cake and digging into it before anything else.

  She had a mouthful when she looked up to notice Rogan watching her with an amused grin.

  “What?” she said, her fork hand covering her mouth full of chocolatey goodness.

  He chuckled. “Nothing. You just seem to really be enjoying that cake.”

  A wide smile spread across her cheeks and she nodded.

  Rogan reached out to wipe a fleck of chocolate icing from her chin just below her bottom lip, then sucked the icing from his thumb while maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. It sent a thrill through her, and she longed for him to touch her again, and again.

  “You didn’t want me saving that for later?” she teased, speaking around the fork in her mouth.